The Meeting of Two Swords
by Cat Professor
Summary: After Hiro returns Excalibur to the quiet shrine nestled in a land to the north, Crona and Ragnarok accidentally stumble upon his resting place.  But what happens when The Demon Sword meets The Holy Sword?
1. Lost in a Land to the North

First attempted dialog! Hope I don't sound like a fool.

I don't own any of these characters though I wouldn't mind wielding Excalibur.

"Ragnarok I think we are lost," whispered Crona. "And it looks like it is going to rain and I just don't know how to deal with that!"

The Demon Sword sprung out of Crona's back and pounded him on the head.

"Ow! Ragnarok what did I do? You are always hurting me!"

"You idiot! Man up! Rain won't hurt you! Besides. There is a cave right there if you don't want to get your dress wet."

"It's not a dress!"

Frustrated with Crona's weakness Ragnarok morphed back into the pink haired boy's body leaving him alone. Crona hung his head and started walking toward the cave.

"It's not a dress. It's...a robe."

Just as Crona stepped into the cave the clouds released their load. It was a heavy rain and he sighed knowing that he would be stuck in the cave for quite some time.

"Great," he thought still looking down at his feet now submerged in six inches of water. "It is almost as wet in here as it is outside."

When he finally raised his head and looked around, he realized that this was no ordinary cave. All around him were broken pillars and straight ahead was a well-lit shrine with a sword plunged into it. Crona's eyes grew wide with terror. His friends at the DWMA had warned him to stay away from this place and here he had accidentally stumbled up it. They had said that what he would find would be lame and he didn't know how to deal with lame!

"Ragnarok. We are going to stay near the entrance. This is a bad place."

"Don't be a wimp!" Ragnarok chided after appearing and giving Crona noogies. "It can't be that bad. It is just a sword! I want to see and then you can run back and sit in a corner crying until the rain stops."

"If you stop hurting me I will go a little closer! And I can't sit anyway Ragnarok! It is wet in here!"

Ragarok ceased his noogying and settled comfortably on top of the boy's head. Slowly they inched closer and closer to the pedestal at the end of the cave. Crona's face was twisted in fear and The Demon Sword only looked on with mild interest.

"Is this close enough?" Crona asked still standing in the cave's water.

"No! Get up there and let me see that sword and prove I'm better!"

Slowly Crona crawled up the hill where the sword resided and stopped, still on his hands and knees. There it was, the legend itself right in front of his nose. Before Crona could speak, Raganok quickly reached over his head and pulled the sword from its resting place. A bright light shone as The Holy Sword was raised high into the air by The Demon Sword.

When the light diminished, standing before Crona and Ragnarok was a short, completely white anteater shaped little creature.

"Ragnarok. I'm not sure I am going to be able to deal with this!"


	2. Wielding the Legendary Holy Sword

The white creature standing before Crona and Ragnarok struck his cane against the ground and turned to face them.

"I am the legendary sword Excalibur. Young man, what are you called?"

"Ummm, my name is Crona and this is Ragnarok."

"Fool. Did I ask who your companion was? I already know you both; asking your names is merely a polite formality." Quickly Excalibur turned to face away from the pair and rested both of his arms on top of his cane. "My legend dates back to the 12th century!"

Crona's eyes grew wide and his face distorted in confusion as he scrambled to his feet.

"But that is so old! Wouldn't he have…rusted or something? I just don't understand how he could be so old!" Crona said out loud to himself.

"Fool. Age is not determined by years but by beauty! No, that isn't right. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! And thus, I found myself competing in the most important beauty pageant in the world. THE MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT!"

"But…isn't that only for girls?" whispered Crona to Ragnarok.

"There I was, standing on the stage in front of millions of people. First was the swimsuit portion. Needless to say I won with my physique and extraordinary taste for fine fashion. The girls could not hide their surprise and doubt in their own abilities. Next was the talent portion. It is easy to guess that I would choose to sing and dance, my two most natural talents."

"Well Crona, can we even know that that isn't a girl? I mean…no pants…no…" whispered Ragnarok back.

"So I danced and sang. And sang and danced. I covered the entire stage twirling and pointing my toes. The crowd loved me and the judges couldn't look at any of the other contestants the same way. But they always say that the determining factor in most pageants is the interview. Judge number one looked me in the eye and said, 'What would you do to end world hunger?' The audience silenced in anticipation of my answer. The other contestants began to sweat.

'FOOL. The answer is in the question!'

"The crowd burst into applause and the judges wiped the tears of pure ecstasy from their eyes. Never before had they heard such words of wisdom and never again would they hear any as wise as mine.

"And thus, I realized my flair for the ancient art of origami." From nowhere Excalibur revealed a perfect replica of himself folded from starched silk.

"What?" yelled Ragnarok. "Well, did ya win? Huh, small fry?"

"Fool. Winning is not of importance, but the glory is eternal."

"Can ya believe this little guy Crona? What a cream puff, huh?" snickered The Demon Sword. "Winning is everything! Because if ya aren't a winner, you're a loser."

"You ignorant parasite!" Excalibur exclaimed pointing his cane at Ragnarok. "Do you know of my hat?"

"I know it's ugly, twerp!"

"Fool. This hat is actually an origami hat modeled after the hat I customarily wear. The craftsmanship is so flawless that you were unable to distinguish it from the hat that usually resides upon my head.

"Young man, may I ask you a question?" he inquired turning his cane to point toward the pink haired boy's face.

"What?" whispered Crona with his mouth gaping. He completely understood how lame the legendary Excalibur truly was, but he didn't know how to deal with him and had been in a trance since the white anteater first began his story.

"I said, may I ask you a question?"

"Ummm, y..y….yes."

"FOOL. A meister must never answer questions unless the question is worthy of an answer. A meister is generally expected to be the asker of the questions. So young man, do you understand?"

Crona had no idea what was expected of him. His face twisted in confusion and then fainted, landing on top of Ragnarok.

"Gmmmmmoooffffmmmmeeeeee!" Ragnarok grunted trying to use his tiny arms to roll Crona's body over.

"When I was a big guy this wouldn't a happened!" he thought to himself. "But that Maka made me this way!"

Excalibur walked over and using his cane, easily rolled Crona over onto his stomach.

"Ragnarok, it truly has been too long, has it not?"

"Excalibur? Ya been acting this whole time? I thought you were a nut! And I woulda never guessed I'd see ya again. When Arthur pulled you from the stone he tossed me aside. But I don't hold a grunge any more. Crona gets me good food and I can sleep any time."

"A nut? Why yes, I do suppose I act like a different man. But as to why I am like this, I simply find it entertaining. And the thousand provisions, just a way of maintaining a decadent life style. Maybe I have taken it too far. Maybe I have been this way for too long. Maybe it is time to change."

"Ehhh whatever!" Ragnarok said to himself and morphed back into Crona's body.

After hours in which Excalibur pondered his position in life, told the unconscious Crona and uncaring Ragnarok the shortened version of the five hour story telling party, and did his daily vocal exercises, Crona finally began to stir. When he finally became conscious he pushed himself up and sat down. He took a minute to look around before realizing where he was. The look of confusion and horror returned to his face.

"Young man. What do you see?" asked Excalibur suddenly holding a Rorschach test inches from Crona's face.

Crona scrambled backward, tilted his head and looked at the inkblot. Ragnarok popped out of Crona's back and shook his head. Excalibur acted how he did more because it was his personality than because he found it amusing.

"Ummm. I guess it looks like…Lord Death."

"Fool. There is nothing on this page but an inkblot. I did not imply that you should search for a deeper meaning in the ink on this page.

"Demon Sword. What do you see?"

Ragnarok, who had completely ignored the entire conversation except for Crona's answer, zeroed his X marked eyes in on the Rorschach test. He rubbed his head in confusion and stretched forward to see if he was missing the picture of Lord Death somewhere in the ink.

"All I see is ink," he admitted, feeling like an idiot

Excalibur, mistaking Ragnarok's answer for a gesture of allegiance against the pink haired boy, quickly turned away from the duo and placed a hand upon his chin. He might have just found his next meister.

"Demon Sword. Answer me this. I begin each morning with…"

"Well, if ya are anything like me," Ragnarok pondered out loud, "Then ya'd begin your morning with a cup a coffee with cream."

"Next. I hate…"

"Carrots. Easy. My last meister may a abandoned me, but that doesn't mean I didn't stay in his castle. Ya demanded that all the carrots in the kingdom be thrown into his dungeon."

"Finally, if a train is traveling at 41 miles per hour and a cat is running next to it and they both leave the station at the same time, how much sooner will the cat end up at the next train station if it is 300 miles away?"

Ragnarok shouted, "How the hell am I supposed to know? Why am I even answering your stupid questions!"

"Exactly! Brilliant!" Excalibur exclaimed while executing a perfect turn with a pointed toe. "A meister must never answer questions unless the question is worthy of an answer. Questions about me are of the upmost importance and deserve an answer. But I am allergic to cats; they give me sneezing fits. A cat will never merit a meister's time."

Crona's mouth dropped open. He could not even begin to comprehend what was happening, but he was beginning to have a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Ragnarok, do you wish to wield The Holy Sword and become a king? Together we can rule the world. And plus, the pink haired boy can manage my provisions since you two are connected."

Ragnarok's eyes grew wide in surprise. He had not expected Excalibur to offer his power to a sword. But the surprise soon disappeared and was replaced by another emotion.

"Sure Excalibur! Since I became little I've been missing the power I used to have over people. I wouldn't mind being a king, he he. Ya hear that, Crona?" Ragnarok asked hitting Crona on the head. "I'm gonna be in charge again! No more being pushed around for us. People are going to learn to fear us again like they are supposed to. Excalibur, grant me your power!"

"Certainly!"

Crona watched in horror as The Holy Sword transformed from a white anteater into the legend that he was and materialized in the gloved hand of The Demon Sword. It didn't even make sense that a sword would be able to wield a sword! And what about the provisions that he was now expected to withhold! His friends at the DWMA were going to be so angry with him when he returned with Excalibur. And they were going to be even angrier when they realized that he had no power over him.


	3. The Beauty of Symmetry

With Ragnarok sleeping in his body and Excalibur parading in front of him, Crona walked away from the shrine with mounting anxiety. In his hands he gripped bound copies of "The 1000 Provisions" and "Excalibur," both authored by Excalibur himself. The first novel was glorious with one provision delicately calligraphed in liquid gold on each page, the second a thick autobiography. But Crona's mind was not on the literature he carried, instead he contemplated his return to the DWMA. He could think of no one who would be pleased with Excalibur's sudden reappearance.

"FOOL!" Excalibur boomed as Crona bounced off him, the white anteater having suddenly halted. "Where was your mind? Did you not read 'The 1000 Provisions?' What of provision number five hundred and seventy-three?"

Excalibur placed his hands upon his cane as he turned to face Crona, his huge eyes staring at the boy commanding a response. Crona, who had been too preoccupied with his misery, desperately tried to think of what the provision could be. There had been no opportunity to read the provisions yet seeing as he had just received the book minutes ago.

"Uhhh…umm…d…don't run into you?"

Excalibur snapped his head to the side and closed his eyes in apparent disgust and unjustified pain as though struck by the boy's words. Slowly he turned back to the boy, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes in impatience. Excalibur raised his cane and brought it down upon the books Crona clutched, scarcely missing his fingers. Crona flinched and stared at the cane uncomprehendingly until Excalibur's intention finally worked itself into his brain. Fumbling with embarrassment and apprehension, Crona flipped through the gold inscribed pages until he reached the five hundred and seventy-third.

"Always walk three steps behind me."

Crona whispered an apology as he carefully shut the book and scurried back three steps grasping it tightly as though for protection against the deep pools of Excalibur's criticizing eyes. The Holy Sword turned a swift about-face bringing his cane behind his back.

"It would be wise to remember that. Also, turn to my three hundred and twenty-first provision."

Crona found the page, increasingly pitying himself for his poor fortunes.

"A meister should never become so absorbed by thought as to become unaware of his surroundings."

"Exactly. Now, onward to our destiny!"

Excalibur raised his cane and slashed downward creating a Spatial Rift between his shine and the DWMA.

"I would not normally bother with this, but the rain would damage my hat because you unwittingly did not think to bring an umbrella. But, I will overlook this…for now. Let us go!"

Crona lifted his foot as though to walk after Excalibur when suddenly the Holy Sword turned and pointed his cane at the boy's face.

"Do not forget. Three steps behind."

Crona hung his head and dragged his feet through the Spatial Rift after the white anteater quietly humming to himself.

Death the Kid rushed into the living room of his mansion at the sound of his weapons' screams.

"Liz! Patty!" he cried, concern and alertness laced through his voice.

"CRONA! Why would you bring that thing here?" Liz shrieked with accusing eyes darting between Crona and Excalibur.

"It's so cute!" Patty squealed as she squatted down next to the Holy Sword picking him up and holding him out from herself.

"Patty! Get away from it!"'

"But why, Kid?"

"Don't you remember? That is the Legendary Holy Sword Excalibur that you are treating like a puppy!"

"Awww he wouldn't hurt a fly, would you Excalibur?"

Patty began to rock Excalibur back and forth while she laughed and hummed. Excalibur's patience was wearing thin and he began squirming to free himself.

"Fool! Put me down! My legend began in the 12th century! That is a long time ago. Were you not raised to respect your elders?"

Patty continued laughing but placed Excalibur back on the tiled floor. Excalibur straightened his hat.

"Get me a cup of herbal tea."

"Okay, little alien! Hahaha!"

Patty skipped to the kitchen and began searching for a teakettle.

"Patty! You aren't allowed to use the stove! You know that!"

Liz ran after her sister as Excalibur walked over to the couch centered in the living room. He pondered the couch for a second and sat next to one of the arm rests.

"Ahhhh! What are you doing? Do you not appreciate the beauty of symmetry? If you are alone you must sit in the center of the couch! If there are two people they must each sit one on each end! If there are three people they must place the two with the most equal heights on the outer two seats!"

"Fool! Do you think that my seating choice was not decided upon after must deliberation? Provision number one hundred and seventy-two. Seek harmony. For years I studied the Chinese art of feng shui. Chi flows most strongly to the precise spot in which I am seated upon, thus providing the most harmony."

Kid climbed to his knees, having thrown himself to the ground in desperation. Kid tried to ignore his obsessive compulsions and to calm the repulsed look painted on his face, the one common to all who agreed upon the same word to define Excalibur. Crona continued to stare at the floor as he had done since exiting through the Spatial Rift. He sighed deeply and prepared himself for Kid's reprimand.

"Crona, what is the meaning of this? Why do you bring this abomination to my perfectly symmetrical house? What reason would you have for wanting to wield the Holy Sword when you are already bound to the Demon Sword? I will have to discuss this matter with my father."

As Kid began to crawl toward the mirror used to communicate with Lord Death, Ragnarok sprung from Crona's back. He stretched his arms and reached forward to twist Crona's nose.

"Owww, Ragnarok! I didn't even do anything!"

Ragnarok laughed spitefully and rested on top of Crona's head.

"Hey, Kid! I grabbed that sword up before Crona here even thought about doin' it. I'm Excalibur's meister, not the twerp!"

Kid turned slowly, still in crawling position, toward the sound of the Demon Sword's laughter. Lord Death had told him that Excalibur's soul wavelength was compatible with all others, but he had never considered that this also included another weapon's. The pink haired boy covered his face in despair.

"Crona, what had you done?" Kid whispered with frantic eyes.

Kid dragged his body along the floor to reach the mirror. His shaking arm reached up to press the button to signal Lord Death.

"Well, hello there Kid! Kid?"

"Dad…we…have a problem."

Kid collapsed to the floor from the stress of asymmetry as Liz and Patty returned with Excalibur's tea. Liz ran to Kid's side, but Patty, as oblivious as always, went straight to Excalibur.

"I hope you like your tea, alien-man!"

"Why thank you. Nothing beats a cup of herbal tea."

Excalibur tipped the tea cup to his lips.


End file.
